Our Twilight Chronicles: Another Twilight Spoof

You Know You're Addicted If........ (true comments only)

1. You sleep with your books next to you because you can't bear to have them too far away. (Cindy)
2. When you go to bed at night your husband asks if I wish he were a vampire, then he bites my arm and says, "you never know." (Amber)
3. When you let your mother borrow your books and as you hand them to her you tell her to guard them with her life and then watch as they drive off in your rearview mirror. (Amber)
4. You really need to use the restroom, but hold is as long as you can just to get in some more reading. You finally get up to go, but decide to take the book with you. (Tara)
5. You spend an ENTIRE day at work working on this blog. Oops (Cindy)
6. You are seriously considering naming your children Isabella (Bella) and Edward or Cullen, I like that better, and it still makes me smile when I say it! (Amber)
7. You read #6 and think to yourself, hey, Cullen really is a cool name......hey Holly!!! (Cindy)
8. You really need to use the restroom, but you don't make it. And then you need to buy a new book. (Holly)
9. You lie about your addiction hoping to make someone laugh. Now thats addicted! (Holly)
10. You eat and read at the same time trying to make sure you don't get any food on the pages! (Patty)
11. You read while you wait in the drive thru line. (Patty)
12. While watching the Olympics you wonder....is Michael Phelps a vampire??? He is an "excellent" swimmer and check out those teeth!!! Hmmmmm.....(Cindy)
13. You and your mother have a serious conversation over whether vampires are real or not and secretly your both hoping that they are! (Amber)
14. You have a wonderfully romantic dream of Edward. You're holding hands, kissing, and you've never felt so in love before. Then you awake to find your significant other lying next to you. Ugh! Utter disappointment is all you feel. (Tara)
15. Someone you don't totally trust asks to borrow your books ~ you can't bring yourself to lend them out. You hope they'll forget about it, but if that doesn't work, you decide you'll go buy the paperbacks as your "lend-out books." (Cindy)

Favorite Quotes

1. You know how to drown a blonde? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool. (Cindy)
2. Bella, would you please stop trying to take your clothes off? (Amber)
3. I already know how strong you are. You didn't have to break the furniture. (Amber)
4. Given Blondie's new expression, I was surprised she didn't break into a touchdown dance. (Cindy)
5. Where's the flood, mutt? (Cindy)
6. The room was full of statues. I crossed my ankles. (Cindy)
7. And so the lion fell in love with the lamb. (Tara)
8. Everyone smelled fine to me. (Holly)
9. Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular. (Cindy)
10. "I'll be back soon, you won't have time to miss me, look after my heart, I left it with you." (Amber)
11. "Fall down again Bella?" No, I punched a werewolf in the face." (Amber)
12. Bet she'd love to see the look on my human face as I stood there naked, holding a sundress. (Holly)
13. If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I’m not ashamed of it.(Cindy)
14. Will you turn into a bat? (Cindy)
15. Well, I’m nearly a hundred and ten. It’s time I settled down.(Cindy)
16. "Um."..."I'm going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?" (Tara)
17. He looks at you like...like you're something to eat. (Tara)

I know we've seen a lot of Twilight spoofs, but this one is so HILARIOUS. I just had to post it! The last minute is bloody, just a warning. I figure most of you reading this blog are okay with blood, seeing as that this is a vampire blog! :) Enjoy-this is a good laugh.